Science, like the minds that externalize it, makes a miserable master but a wonderful slave. Most non-scientists regard both science and its practitioners (sometimes quite rightly) as arrogant and self-important, but most scientists are, at their centers, humble and worshipful of the universe and its construction. Every door science unlocks opens onto two locked doors; every discovery increases the awareness of what is not known. Peter Gabriel sings thus:
O the further on I goand I am soundly of the opinion that science will someday discover what faith has always known.
O the less I know...
Be proud that you are independent and have been spared the bondage that often philosophical rigor places on its students and adherents. I have no doubt that you, and a few others like you, have experiences and knowledge that science cannot account for or explain in any way, and make no gesture whatsoever to consider them invalid because they are not demonstrable or have little evidence. This is your path, and I regard your pioneering nature with perhaps more envy than you may ever know. Your calling is to the territory, mine to the map. Everything that I do must be in the service of those who will follow me, and providing an objective and unambiguous path and avoiding hearsay, speculation, and rumor -- even if there is great wisdom hidden in it. Your independence affords you the wings to make great leaps to hidden places and unrepeatable experiences. You live in the present by living in the past; I live in the future by living in the present.
And in this regard, and perhaps only in this regard, we are different: I make made by living by living among the dead -- it is from them that my languages, my philosophies, and my inspirations come, and for the as-yet unborn I live. You make your living among the living, and through you the dead remain alive. My head swims with their knowledge; your soul buzzes with their wisdom. You may be and become intelligent, but I will never in this life be wise.